Ordination 6 – Behold, the panel cometh…

Today is Friday.  And tomorrow is the Diocesan Panel.  Am I nervous?  I’m not really sure.  Earlier this week, I was feeling very calm.  I did wonder if it was a sort of being-in-the-eye-of-the-storm feeling.  I wasn’t sure if it was an answer to prayer, or just a failure on the part of my brain to appreciate the seriousness of it all.  The jury’s still out 🙂

But tomorrow is the panel.  What do I know about the Diocesan Panel?  I know it’s important but isn’t the Bishops’ Advisory Panel (which is a later hurdle…).  I know that I have to do a presentation on something for five minutes.  I know that I’ve decided to do a presentation on Spiritual Disciplines, which won’t be a surprise for those of your who know me, or even for those who’ve been reading this blog for a while.  I know that this presentation is followed by a discussion which I will ‘facilitate’ for a further ten minutes.  I know that my group to whom I am presenting and with whom I am discussing are five in total, to be observed by (I believe) three others.  I know my presentation and my facilitation and my participation in the discussion of others will all be observed.  I know that there are three individual interviews covering aspects of the criteria for ordination.

I know that there are a number of people praying for me, and that is certainly a reassurance.  I know that I am praying for the others who are going through this with me (and would ask those who are praying for me to do likewise).  I am also praying for myself.

I know that this will not be a breeze, but that I am not in it all by myself.  I know that God has good plans for me, whatever shape they may take.

I know that others share my view that ministry through ordination would be a good step for me to take, and that many people feel that I would be a ‘good fit’ for this type of role.  Yet I also know that this doesn’t mean that the panel will necessarily agree.  I know God has a range of responses available; broadly – yes, no, and not now.  I know that, whatever the outcome of the panel, there will be an element of both relief and fear.

I know that God has planted in me a love of words and a love of people, and I know that He will share with me the responsibility of growing and stretching these loves.  I know that this will involve both challenge and fun. I know it offers both promise and pain.  I know that a pastor will carry woes and wounds, as well as joy and hope.

I know that my name is written on my Father’s hands; I know that the Son’s hands were pierced for me; I know that the Spirit offers to work through my hands.

I know that’s a pretty solid foundation to build on.

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3 Responses to Ordination 6 – Behold, the panel cometh…

  1. frmary66 says:

    I’m really sorry to do this to you… but… what sprang into my head and heart in the “love of words” etc para was – “That’s my boy!” Khuda tere sath ho, Nicki Jan.

  2. I’ll be praying. You’ll do a brilliant job and no matter what the outcome he’s still got your life in his hands.

  3. Lucy says:

    “I know that my name is written on my Father’s hands; I know that the Son’s hands were pierced for me; I know that the Spirit offers to work through my hands.” Brilliant! And also praying here.Ecc.9:10.

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